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Young Writers Society



Fire in the soul.

by black templar


Atrianna looked into the faces of the young elves, the gazed into each pair of eyes that turned on her. A tear ran down her face, she took in a deep breath and wiped the tear from her cheek. Then her eyes turned to the west, were the orkish warlord "Ironchest" walked onto the mobile stage, which was carried by the "midgies" as there were known by there orkish kin. "Ironchest" punched his rusted armour and let out a ferocious roar that echoed down the valley into the elven ears.

Attrianna remebered the last time this happened, she was an elven general, commanding legions of elves against the orks. Everything was going well untill Attrianna's younger brother was felled by the fearsome "ironchest" at that moment her rosolve to fight failed and she felt sick inside, after that major decrease in moral the orks started to get the better of them. The elves retreatted, and died. Only a small group escaped and found haven in the forest. Attrianna gripped her sword and ripped it out of her sheath. She knew the lives of the elves depended on this battle, and she couldnt let that happen.

The orks started to charge into the forest to reach the elven city, there were elves hinding in the trees, but not enough to stop there approaching armmada. Arrow after arrow found its place into green skin, but the orks ran on ignoring there dead brethren. The orks reached the gate and started mounting ladders onto the walls. The elves unleahsed wave after wave of arrows, but it was as if there was an unlimited supply. Attrianna prepeared her troops for close combat, but they couldnt keep the orks of for long, for every second that passed Atrianna felt the lose of another elven life.

Attrianna sliced into the neck of "Ironchest's" bodyguard and spun her sword into the gut of another, Ironchest stopped and let of a crackle of joy as he smashed an elven skull to the floor, but they quickly stopped there battling when they saw each other, the elves rallied to Attrianna but there were to many orks, the remaining elves were quickly surrounded with no place to run. Attrianna battle Ironchest but he was to powerful. Attrianna jumped up and tried to stab down onto Ironchests skull, but he parried her sword with his enermous axe. and she was knocked to the floor, Ironchest was about to behead the defensless elven general when all of a sudden, the sound of trumpets filled the air. Everyone turned round but a fog had surrounded the elven city, everyone waited for the arrival of the unsuspected allies, but whos team would they be on?

10 Minutes passed when a lone man on a white horse walked down through the fog and up the runway to the gates, which were busted open, the hooded figure walked in and stood at the archway to the gate, when armoured orks rushed down to seize him. His yellow eyes glowed through the darkness of his hood, he raised his hand and pushed it towards one of the armoured orks, he then bursted into flames. The other orks looked round at each other, then looked back at the hooded figure, they charged at him but he ducked underneath the axes and slide to the right, he held his hand out and a flame appreared, its silver glow attracted all the eyes of the elves as the flame went down he spoke out "elves of the forest, let your hearts be filled with courage and bravery, do not fear the orks as we are with god." he then raised his hands above his head and the ork guards that came down to seize the mysterious man bursted into ashes and there empty armour fell to the ground.

Attrianna got back up and looked into the necklace that her brother had worn in battle, she grabbed her sword and charged into Ironchest, she parried the slice of the ork warlord and ducked underneath kis armoured fist, she jumped back up and kicked her foot into ironchest's armored neck, as he fell backwards, Attrianna stared into the eyes on Ironchest and stabbed her sword into the Orks skull. All the other elves followed Attrianna example and slowly but surely the orks were driven back into the forest. The elves let out a massive cheer, but attrianna turned her attention to the arch to see what was no longer there, she ran down to the gate, but nothing of his prescence ramained. "Who was he?" she wispered to herself.


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863 Reviews


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Sat Feb 04, 2006 6:53 pm
Griffinkeeper says...



I'm going to unlock this. If anyone uses curse words or flames, they will be in trouble.

*Unlocked*




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Sat Feb 04, 2006 5:56 pm
Dynasty cow says...



*Flame Deleted*

Griffinkeeper




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118 Reviews


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Sat Feb 04, 2006 5:14 pm
*Twilight* wrote a review...



You did a pretty good job describing the battles. I could picture it in my mind very well but, the thing is you didn't describe the scenery so I had to fill that in myself with rocky ground and mountians. (It's thke first thing that came to mind.) Like dynasty cow said if you run it through the spell checker it will fix the typos and misspelled words. So far so good but it seemed like more of a random battle scene that a story due to the missing plot. So if you want to get evrybody interested you need to introduce the plot soon.

What a crap name , i just wrote your style is good above cause i thought you were a stranger , but no your real name Micheal is a crap name , crap . and read the rules , if you dont theyll ban you ,BAN YOU


Dtnasty cow, what the heck was this all about?




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Sat Feb 04, 2006 3:55 pm
Dynasty cow says...



What a crap name , i just wrote your style is good above cause i thought you were a stranger , but no your real name Micheal is a crap name , crap . and read the rules , if you dont theyll ban you ,BAN YOU




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Sat Feb 04, 2006 2:48 pm
Dynasty cow wrote a review...



your style is great its realy dramatic and that but if you did the spell check thingy all the mistakes could be corrected , and the last thing is that this is all from lord of the rings the two towers evrything . the elfs vs the orks the ladders , the walls the orks running back through the forest and the most copied thing is the man in wight horse (if you dont know what the lord of the rings is i sincerely apologize) thing of other conflict like the last of the trolls that get hunted for there tusks fight back and make one last stand or somthing , remember that the story isnt the good thin its how you write it





You must believe in free will; there is no choice.
— Isaac Bashevis Singer